Time: 4:12am
Song: On top of the world - Boys Like Girls
Mood: Disheartened

You make me wanna call you in the middle of the night,
you make me wanna hold you till the morning light ..

Familiar? This is a blogsong of my friend(cianyuh) that triggers my thoughts when i was passing by her blog. It reminds me of the past, and a special person.

Recently, memories about her kept linger on my mind, I had no idea about the reason too. I just want to see her for the last time, to see her smile that would melt my heart. She just disappeared from my life, no facebook, no msn, nothing .. No ways to contact her at all. Maybe you can never understand how i feel. But it is definitely not something nice. It is rather disheartening, disappointing or depressing. No single word can express that feeling.

It still seemed like yesterday where everything was just fine. Where she will smile at me and hold my hand. Talk to me and make my day. The smile i had on those days were definitely different from what i had now, thats how i feel. It had been months, or rather years, that everything was over. You do the math, i remembered it was sec three. She can remain on my mind for so long, yet others can just be forgotten on the next day. Is this the power of love? I have no idea but I'm sure it is powerful. To reminiscing everything by simple things such as a place, a song, a sentence, a smell, a voice, or even food. It is not things that can happen easily, but things that your mind and even your brain doesn't wanna let go. Just like now, I'm listening to songs that she liked and that she would listen with me which will bring my conscious back to the past, far more powerful than a time machine.

I remembered everything about you. There is no need to read it on a diary, not neccesary to squeeze my brain juice to remember. Instead, everything just flowed back smoothly, like it was locked in some part of me. Or maybe it went into my blood when my skin tore because of you. Every single thing you gave me are in perfect condition. Even a movie that we caught on our first outing, the ticket is still with me. I just don't bear to destory things that are related to you in any forms. I want to keep it safe and secure, until the day i step into my coffin.

For you:
Though we're still under the same stars, we will not be connected.
Though we're still in the same planet, we will not meet again.
Though we're still in the same century, our lives will not intercept each other.
Just like parallel lines, we will never meet.

I will keep all these precious memories with me. Something that is more valuable than the 'X' marked on the pirates' map. Something that has been long forgotten by you.
I love you.

Labels: darryL . ™