So near, yet so far ...
Time: 3.45pm
Mood: Down.
Music: Seize the day - Avenged sevenfold.
Back from tonning with those guys again. Its been around hours and my butt is burning from the stone chair i've been sitting on for the past 16hours. Anyway, my friend showed me something that kept my concentration drifting away from my mind. No doubts, its about her. He found her facebook profile and i didn't even know she had one. Though she only had less then 100 friends, I can't deny the fact that she had long forgotten me. Well, whats more to expect? We stopped contacting each other for approximately 2 years. But i had to admit that this really kept me logging in to facebook and visiting her profile right after i reached home. What is wrong with me? Didn't i forget her long ago? Either way, i had no courage to face her after seeing her profile pictures with her you know, boyfriend i guess. Well, its natural right? And i guess i still had feelings for her, or preferably, i cared for her or rather, i can't put myself to forget her. Theres so many better girls out there but none of them caught my attention, or rather i'm only the one in the crowd without any attractive points. All i knew is that I just want that person. I know its not worth it, i know its foolish or rather selffish. I just know i miss her. I really do. Seeing her with him really brings me mixed feelings. I felt happy for her with a person she love, but it disheartens me at the same time. Still, this doesn't stops me from clicking the 'add as friend' button. However after second thoughts, i hesitated. What if she had long forgotten me and asked me 'who are you'? What if she said she's attached for a period of time? What if she didn't even accept me? Can i withstand the impact? The heart piercing pain that i once encountered? I know i couldn't, its too much for me. Within seconds, i deleted the pending friend request. All i could do now from this so near yet so far distance is to wish that she can take care of herself. And I pray by the grace of god that she can be happy. Everything about her is safely kept in my mind, a place where only I'm familiar with and nobody else can enter. I'll keep everything safe and sound, until the day where miracles happen.
Being faithful isn't the real solution.
And i would like to thank all my friends for cheering me up and being there for me when i needed a shoulder. Without you guys, i would had collapse. Thanks people, i love you guys. Friends forever. \m/
Labels: darryL . ™